Give the Gift of a Few Kind Words
I received the most precious email from a friend’s daughter who teaches at a small school on Nantucket. After reading my book she was inspired to teach a lesson about kindness to her young students. Then, they all enthusiastically wrote letters to adults in their school community. She said “I've attached a photo of one of the letters written by one of my very hesitant writers - he jumped right into the assignment and never faltered.”
Whether you’re a 3rd grade student or about to celebrate your 94th birthday, like my mother-in-law, sharing and receiving A Few Kind Words is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s an instant energy boost for both writer and receiver, a dose of medicine in an envelope, and an empowering and nourishing way to be part of what moves humanity forward.
Tis the season of gratitude, thankfulness and love. Don’t let the busyness of the next month make you miss that. Make the proactive choice each day to slow down, linger and listen. Being interested in those around us is one of the kindest thing you can do for yourself and others.
Now, let me help you with your holiday shopping list. All you need is a piece of paper and the willingness to get a little vulnerable. Tell the people in your life why, specifically, they are important to you. Tie a ribbon around it and leave it under the tree, on their pillow or mail it off. Or, gift them a copy of my book and write them a letter of appreciation on the inside cover.
Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite chapters from my book:
Chapter 13 – Who Has Loved You Into Being?
“Who has loved you into being?” Mr. Rogers asked that magnificently introspective question when he was receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award. I invite you to let this question settle into your bones and let your mind wander to the people who encouraged you, supported you, listened to you, and role modeled a value system that has carried you to where you are today. Has anyone made you feel cherished? That beautiful word means to “hold dear and protect and care for lovingly.” None of us have become the people we are today by ourselves. Who’s that person you can’t wait to tell when something happens to you, whether fabulous or mundane? Who’s that person you can squish together on the couch with and watch, on a shared cell phone screen, endless funny videos of people getting scared that make you laugh so hard no sound comes out? Who do you instantly call when your heart gets shattered, and who do you want to hug tightly and share in your joy when you get that promotion or finally create that piece of art that’s been inside you for so long?
Think about the people who’ve loved you into being, then find a quiet time, close your eyes, and let your mind fill with images of that person. Use your five senses. Breathe in the scent of their perfume or shampoo, picture what they’re wearing, listen for their laughter or their calming words of advice and support, conjure up the taste of a shared meal or a lingering kiss, and feel their arms around you in a safe and enduring hug.
A white buttercream birthday cake with hot pink flowers and strawberry filling will forever be synonymous with our mother’s love for Wendy and me. I close my eyes now and I can see her slicing for me, the birthday girl, the first piece of cake with the biggest pink flower on top as I swipe my finger across the frosting and taste the sweetness of both the buttercream and Mom’s love. My husband and his three siblings all equate their mother’s love for them with the sound of her jingling charm bracelet when she would quietly come into their bedrooms after a night out and kiss their sleepy faces goodnight. It’s a privilege to witness someone being loved into being, and that’s what I get to experience watching our daughter-in-law, Jenna, shower our grandsons, Hudson and Maverick, with enduring patience and absolute respect every day making them feel safe and loved unconditionally.
Who are you imagining? Most likely, these people know you love and appreciate them, but that’s no reason not to put your gratitude into writing. To express your gratitude in writing using specific details why this person or people have helped you become your best self is a gift that keeps on giving.
To validate the existence of another human being is our main purpose in life, I believe. In doing so, we validate ourselves.
We thrive when we are in community. Acknowledging the positive attributes we each have and the impact we have on one another is immeasurable. So often we assume someone knows how we feel about them. I am asking you to never assume. Tell them. If they already know or if they don’t know, either way, reading your words of appreciation will strengthen your bonds in the most beautiful way.
